The Obituary We All Need (to Write)

I couldn't let the tiny, standard-issue obit that ran on the funeral website be the last word about my Dad. I had too many other things to say.

So my kind editor at Brevity agreed to run this piece (link below), the obituary I had to write. The extended version, you could say.

And yet! There is still so much more to say. For many reasons, I suppose, beginning with the most basic fact: he was my father.

But also: HE was a character. After a lifetime of hearing him label others with that comment, I have come to conclude that he, above all, was a character. And since I believe I take after him much more than I take after my mother, ours was a complex relationship. 

I also concluded in one teary moment while driving back home to Connecticut that I really had a wonderful Dad. Me being me, I concluded it -- or better yet, admitted it -- far too late. And me being me, I realized it while reimagining a scene from my favorite movie, "It's A Wonderful Life." The angel, Clarence, says to George, "Don't you see? You really had a wonderful life."

In my version, he says, "You really had a wonderful Dad."

I really did, Clarence. A master gardener with an encyclopedia knowledge of classical music and also any American movie made before, say, 1965 (any Broadway play before that date, as well). A world traveler. And of course, an engineer, by career and also vocation. Plus: a devout Catholic who gladly recalled when the mass was in Latin. One more thought: one of the funniest people I ever knew.

To read the piece for Brevity, go here:

https://brevity.wordpress.com/2022/01/27/the-obituary/

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