Jeanne journals

I don't like it when the word 'journal' is used as a verb. Let's journal about this. OR: She spent the afternoon journaling...

It feels a bit like saying, 'I crochet' ... or ... 'I like scrapbooking.' Or, 'Excuse me while I get ready for an afternoon of canning.' (I know people enjoy these kinds of activities, but not me. Of course, for some of these people, the idea of writing in a physical journal would probably cause the same reaction).

But it's what I do -- a lot. I journal. In fact, I spend a good deal of time writing in my journal, reading what I've written in my journal or even simply admiring the physical appearance of my journals. What I am doing, really, is gazing at a kind of security blanket the journal represents -- when all goes awry, I can write it down in the journal. Or, whenever I have a thought about something I want to do, I must do, I should do: I can write it in my journal and the thought is preserved. Looking at a journal from last year is a little like looking at my favorite sweater. I've also found the journal to be not only a confidant who receives my inner thoughts but also one who accompanies me on my life's journey. In other words, it’s often a document of what I’ve achieved.

I mainly use my journals to write (as opposed to draw or log information like the number of miles one has run) but I also attach ephemera to some of the pages -- drawings by Leo, receipts from vacation stops, post-it notes destined for posterity, et al -- so they sometimes actually do have the air of scrapbooks. They capture a moment of my life. (I occasionally post diary entries on this blog. I also occasionally write diary entries in Italian).

As I've mentioned here before, I do keep a digital journal (an extensive one that’s composed of two dozen Word documents that span more than a decade), but I have a 13-year-old, which means two things to me:

*I don't want him to see me hunched over a computer 24/7 or constantly glancing at my phone, even if my purpose is to log a thought

*...And that's because: I want him to understand what I do and if he can see me writing with a pen in my journal from across the room or transcribing a translation into my journal or even stapling something onto a page of the journal that I want to keep, he may be able to understand what his writer-editor-translator-adjunct mom does for a living. (Maybe. Alternately, he might just think I twirl my hair for a living.)

*I also find anything we do on computers is rife with distraction -- and I want to teach him to limit distractions, especially digital distractions

Plus, I want to write a lot, and hence I want immediate access to writing tools, so as I mentioned in my piece a few years back for Longreads, that means physical journals. I am in fact a Luddite (I was born in Ludd many, many years ago) but I also genuinely find you can "turn on" a note pad or a journal faster than any other "device," especially since I keep pens everywhere. Pick up the pad. Pick up the pen -- maybe even simultaneously -- and voila: you are writing. You've turned on the writing machine. What was that, two seconds? Pretty quick. 

I find journals are especially useful for the following moments: When we're driving somewhere, even a place like Target. Or for when we take a long trip. Also, for when I'm outside on the back deck or observing our street from the front porch. Even when I walk Caramel. (Or really any moment in my life since there is always a notepad in my pocket book.)

You cannot always reach for your laptop (or break your index finger, and your sanity, tapping thoughts out on your phone; arguably the method also circumscribes the production -- can you really get it all down by tapping it into your phone? What thoughts are lost?). Your laptop can't be stuffed into a jacket pocket. Nor does it come in all kinds of sizes and colors.

All of this to say, I always have a journal "going," a small, bound notebook (usually embellished with a cloth or decorative cover) that serves as the journal of the moment. Usually that "moment" extends over a few months. I've begun affixing name tags to the covers during the last few years so I can jot down relevant dates and quickie notes about the topics covered therein.

In fact, I learned something from a wonderful profile of the poet Sharon Olds. She ruminates so thoroughly over topics in her journal that when she finishes one, she creates an index for it. What’s covered in it, what moments are recorded there. (If you have tips like this, please share! The idea of indexing the journal intrigues me to the point of rabidness. I've begun to attach labels to the front of my journals with a few topics jotted down for future reference.)

Now that you see how I record my life, maybe when I die, one of you will be able to say, "She had this weird journal habit. Always writing in a journal. Even stapled stuff inside like some second-grader." (Of course, if you've really known me a long while, you're actually going to say, "She had this weird habit -- she was always twirling her hair.")

I was perusing a tiny red notebook I used as my journal during the first year of the pandemic, and I found this gem:

Nov. 3, 2020

Leo and I talk a lot about fur. What’s lined with fur, that is. Like sweatpants and hoodies. When he calls something “super furry,” my brain becomes super cozy. I yearn for all things furry. And I’m thankful for this lovely little boy who makes lovely little observations, especially about things that are super furry. 

As unlikely as it might seem to non-journalers, other people keep journals, too! In fact, there are even organizations that have launched "journal projects," and let's be honest: I 💖them (see below).

What's more, I've discovered in the past year that some very successful writers see journaling as central to their writing practice -- namely Nobel Laureate Annie Ernaux and, as I mentioned, poet Sharon Olds.

And just maybe when your hooligan Italian friend volunteers to teach your son curse words in the key of Dante, you'll have the presence of mind to whip out your journal so the Teacher can make notes (this really happened -- click on link and see photo above).

Harvard has a cool project whereby first year students receive a journal to record their experiences:

https://dso.college.harvard.edu/journal-project

AND

During the pandemic, UCONN launched a journaling project to encourage people to write about their experiences. More information here:

https://pandemic-journaling-project.chip.uconn.edu/

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