From the Starry Journal

I've been writing for the past few months in a cloth-covered notebook I call the Starry Journal because, well, the front cover features little silver stars. Here's one entry:

Nov. 1, 2020 -- as Daylight Savings begins

I'm out in the yard with the dog and I see the thinnest seam of sunlight on this day we're meant to fall back. 

And for no logical reason, I think, "Quanto mi manca Italia." I miss Italy so much. 

And from there, I arrive at this thought: How much are we suppressing? How much pent-up longing lurks just beneath the veneer we present of adjusting to the pandemic?

I suppose my mind has knitted these ideas together because I don't really allow myself to pine for Italy (beyond grieving for how hard the country was hit by the Covid-19 pandemic). There's so much else to pine for, and we're simply not living in a time where you jet off to Italy. Not even Ciambellina.

Yet my goodness how we've adjusted, at least peripherally, to this insane world order. I wear my mask, I social distance, I attend no events. And one day, I exulted at driving up to visit the Wells Fargo ATM in Bloomfield. There ain't nothing exciting about Bloomfield! No Piazza della Signoria, no concert hall, nothing.

But I broke out of the cage of my home, and saw something different. That tells me the longing is deep.

To compensate, I urge myself to appreciate the small pleasures in life. So here goes it:

*Yesterday (on Halloween), Leo kept asking me, "How long until  Halloween?" It had been Halloween all day, and he knew that, of course, but I guess he meant, how long until we go trick-or-treating? So Halloween in his mind starts the moment you go on the hunt for candy. And rightly so.

*The sky above my neighbor's house right now is baby shower pink and blue.

*The air is pleasant, a bit cold, a bit damp, but bearable. Signature fall weather and it's a gift to be out in this yard.

*I am working today, remotely of course, and I have the ability to do so (so I am privileged).

*I slept well; I have a son; I have laughter; I have the Italian language (the English one, too). Oh and:

I think I saw Leo playing air guitar yesterday out in the yard! A first time for everything.

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